Awareness of Flirting, Dating & Relationships
by Elizabeth Sautter, M.A., CCC-SLPOften adolescents and young adults who have lagging social and/or emotional skills do not have lagging biological drives. This can create an inconsistency between natural desires and the ability to control impulses in a socially expected manner. In the past year alone, therapists at CW have observed several improper behaviors, including inappropriate innuendos, comments about body parts and misuse of cyberspace.For most teens, understanding and mastering the unspoken rules and skills of courtship is a challenge, but made easier by observing others around them. Many of those with social challenges do not learn how to navigate these situations by watching and observing their peers, which can make the complexities of romance all the more overwhelming.As a result, we created a curriculum based on Michelle Garcia Winner’s Four Steps of Communication, which helps with understanding the rules for engaging and connecting with others. These four steps are:
Thinking about others with your brain
Being aware of your physical presence
Using your eyes to think about others
Using your words to relate to others
These four steps also apply in the romantic realm. We have broken down the abstract social cues that are involved with flirting, dating and relationships to help those in need of guidance. The curriculum provides a neutral ground and helps make a sensitive subject more approachable by providing concrete, logical and effective steps for dealing with romantic and sexual situations.Michelle Garcia Winner and Pamela Crooke’s book, Socially Curious and Curiously Social also incorporates these strategies and tools for teens. The book explains that although flirting works pretty much the same way for boys and girls, there are some differences in preference and approach. For example, many girls like flirting and dating to be a long process, whereas many boys like it to be short and want to move quickly through this stage. As the process goes on, feelings and emotions tend to intensify, and the authors guide teens through what is often a confusing process.If you know a teen who might benefit from learning these skills, join us this summer for a therapeutic book club for teens using Winner and Crooke’s book, Socially Curious and Curiously Social. Teens will focus on how to navigate the world of friendships, school, dating, social media and everyday relationships. This anime-illustrated guidebook is written in a language that teens will understand and discusses real issues they face in everyday life.For more information on the therapeutic book club for teens, click here.