Self-compassion: the missing piece to self-care (plus a FREEBIE to improve your self-care practice).

Did I remember my lunch? Did I call that family? Will I manage to finish all of that paperwork?

Those are some of the questions that filter through many speech-language pathologists (SLP’s) brains on a daily basis... balancing a career as an SLP with the rest of life's demands can be exciting sometimes and overwhelming at others.

While eustress (the "good stress") can help us stay motivated and facilitate growth, the distress (the "negative stress") can lead to many adverse outcomes. Therefore, let’s seek to decrease the bad stress.

Why is self-compassion the missing piece to self-care?

Self-care is so widely used these days that it might be challenging to understand why they matter. For reference, Instagram has over 30+ million #selfcare (and those are the posts that are made public.)

So, let's first clarify what self-care is.

Self-care can take many forms. Sometimes self-care is eating right. Sometimes it is spending time with a loved one or reading a book. Sometimes it is taking time to take lunch or read a book. It can be whatever helps you feel replenished and filled up, just like water in a well or food in your belly.

You know what self-care routine works best for you!  Everyone is different in what works for them and you know what routines or rituals soothe your body and mind best.  One SLP might love to read and another needs to move their body and go for a walk. But when we all (in the same or different ways) prioritize these daily doses of care for ourselves, we are better able to care for those around us and prevent burnout.

So good for you for doing what you know is best for you.  And, let’s talk about how self-care alone is often NOT enough.  

Let us ask you a question - what is your natural response when you experience some setback. What do you do? Do you berate yourself?

Even if you have committed a time for your daily stretching or walk in nature (or whatever daily self-practice routine you take) but you are harshly self-critical, putting yourself down, comparing yourself to others, your self-care routine is NOT effective. You cannot be fully recharged or functioning without being compassionate to yourself.

This is why self-compassion is the underlying foundation of self-care and why self-care is NOT enough!

Therefore, we must treat ourselves with self-compassion, just like we would treat our loved ones.

So, the first step to increasing self-compassion is to be aware of how you are talking to yourself. Is your self-talk positive and encouraging or negative and self-defeating?  

Notice your thoughts and ask yourself if that is something you might say to your best friend. If not, turn it around, and instead of being your worst critic, try to be understanding and caring to yourself. Directing that type of response to yourself is self-compassion.

Some people might feel that self-care and self-compassion are selfish!

Please listen closely... this cannot be farthest from the truth!

Both self-care and self-compassion are VITAL to our well-being and mitigating stress levels, especially in our profession of speech-language pathologists!

As therapists, we need to have water in our water pitchers in order to pour into the water glasses those around us (e.g. our clients and/or students). If we don't have water in our own pitcher, not only will our well be dry, but there won’t be water to share with anyone else. Therefore, self-care is not selfish; it is ESSENTIAL!

And as Parker Palmer beautifully said: "Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others."

What does the research say about self-care and self-compassion?

Research shows that "developing compassion for oneself may promote self-care, reduce self-criticism, compassion fatigue, and burnout and equip ... with the necessary tools needed to face the rigors of education.”    

And as Dr. Kristin Neff (pioneering self-compassion researcher) says: “people with self-compassion are less likely to be critical of themselves and less likely to be anxious or depressed, which, in turn, leads to greater life satisfaction”.

Therefore, developing a strong self-care and compassion routine is of great importance for our well-being as caregivers.

Daily mantras and why they matter? 

A great way to improve your self-care and self-compassion routine quickly is to use mantras (daily). But, first things first. What are mantras and why do they matter?

Mantras are designed to amplify your positive self-talk, which is that voice in your head that talks to you each and every day (even on a subconscious level when you don't realize it is there).

A mantra is anything we say or think. It is any collection of words designed to promote focus, quiet anxiety, boost happiness, and increase self-confidence.

"Research shows that when we recite quick uplifting mantras ... we feel better and develop a stronger sense of self-worth. This boost of self-worth can help you feel more compelled to take care of your own needs."

And to make sure that you have all the tools needed to make your self-care routine stick, our team has gathered some of our favorite mantras and made visuals just for you.

So, we encourage you to get the FREEBIE, pick the mantra/s that resonate most with you, print them out or post them in a prominent place to serve you as a reminder to use the mantras daily.

Please, share the love by forwarding this blog post to other SLP. And if you have any questions - contact us, we would love to help you in any way we can!

Resources:

Baumont, E., Durkin, M., Hollins Martin, C. J., & Carson, J. (2016). Measuring relationships between self‐compassion, compassion fatigue, burnout, and well‐being in student counselors and student cognitive behavioral psychotherapists: a quantitative survey. Counseling and Psychotherapy Research, 16(1), 15-23

Beau, A. (2019, Aug 22). 6 Mantras to Help You Prioritize Yourself and Your Needs. Shine. https://advice.theshineapp.com/articles/6-mantras-to-help-you-prioritize-yourself-and-your-needs/#:~:text=Research%20shows%20that%20when%20we,care%20of%20your%20own%20needs

Kristin, N. (2021). Self-Compassion Publications’ List of Publications. https://self-compassion.org/the-research/

Kristin, N. Kristin Neff>Quotes. Goodreads. https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/4559299.Kristin_Neff

Riopel, L. (2020, Oct 30). 15 Most Interesting Self-Compassion Research Findings. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/self-compassion-research/